I think the author offers a ton of really helpful and tactical steps anyone can take, single or in a relationship, to improve their chances of finding or keeping love. Stop making them victims and don’t threaten that dying alone is the worst that could happen to you just to sell copies. Unfortunately single women (and note this ‘advice’ is really never aimed at men), are too often belittled and when they speak up are labelled as embittered or hiding their misery behind a facade of indignity. Rather than boiling down our complex personalities, characteristics and desires down to ‘three dating tendencies’, why aren’t we celebrating those who choose not to settle, who make the courageous decision to live life on their terms and not pin the answer to happiness and entry to ‘adulthood’ with coupling up? Haven’t we had enough of this from 90s teen magazines? Find out the age you ‘should settle down’ and forget about ‘the spark’? Just sounds like settling. Marry a man like the one you were dating at 16? That would be catastrophic for most. Is dying alone the worst thing that could happen? Is being ‘alone’ really only define by not having a romantic partner?Ĭontinuously positing singleness as a ‘problem’ which needs to be ‘fixed’ is one thing, but trying to attach mathematical or scientific proof points to something which really amounts to nothing more than luck and the roll of the dice is nonsensical. If the title doesn’t say it all, this is tedious and insulting to single people. How to Not Die Alone will help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams. This “data-driven” ( Time ), step-by-step guide to relationships, complete with hands-on exercises, is designed to transform your life. Why “the spark” is a myth (but you’ll find love anyway) How to make dates fun again (so they stop feeling like job interviews) How to meet more people in real life (while doing activities you love) How to overcome the perils of online dating (and make the apps work for you) What really matters in a long-term partner (and what really doesn’t) What’s holding you back in dating (and how to break the pattern) This “simple-to-use guide” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone ) focuses on a different decision in each chapter, incorporating insights from behavioral science, original research, and real-life stories. You have to actually change your behavior. But awareness on its own doesn’t lead to results. We make poor decisions, which thwart us on our quest to find lasting love.ĭrawing from years of research, behavioral scientist turned dating coach Logan Ury reveals the hidden forces that cause those mistakes. Great relationships don’t just appear in our lives-they’re the culmination of a series of decisions, including whom to date, how to end it with the wrong person, and when to commit to the right one. Have you ever looked around and wondered, “Why has everyone found love except me?” You’re not the only one. A “must-read” ( The Washington Post ) funny and practical guide to help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams.
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